O Anakin, Where Art Thou?
Anakin, Obi-Wan and Yoda escape from a Jabba-run chain gang on Tatooine. In a subplot they form a rap group called Soggy By Nature.


Jedi Pie
Anakin makes a personal pact to bang Padme by his next birthday. In one scene, he broadcasts a topless beach romp of hers over the internet.


Padme Amidala’s Diary
Natalie packs on the pounds to play a very single Padme, who can’t find a single decent man on Naboo.


Crouching Jedi, Hidden Sith
Zhang Ziyi’s secret role as a Sith Lord highlights this tale of the battle for the mystical lightsaber called the “Green Slab.”


Yoda Got Fingered
Uncovers the truth behind Yoda’s youthful molestation. Tom Green co-stars as the Coruscant village idiot.


The Calm and the Serious
Anakin goes undercover with some speeder junkies to flush out the guilty party behind the robbery of Mace Windu’s “Bad Mother Fucker” wallet.


Planet Of The Lucas Apes
Anakin crash lands on a planet ruled by fat, greedy simians. He escapes, aided by a scantily clad Natalie, only to return to an earth where the Lincoln Memorial looks like George Lucas.


The Phantom Menace Redux
Lucas adds almost an hour of footage to his original film. Some new scenes: Anakin steals Qui-Gon Jinn’s surfboard; after Qui-Gon’s funeral, Obi-Wan takes Anakin to a brothel; there’s the added Qui-Gon/Shmi sex scene featuring Jedi mind sex; and there’s a scene of Darth Maul applying his makeup and then saying “show…time” into the mirror.


Yo, Where’s My Clone?
Padme can’t find her clone, so she has to go out with Anakin herself.


The Chancellor’s New Groove
Palpatine pisses off his new secretary(played by Tina Fey), who turns him into a bantha.


How The Grinch Stole Our Money
Documentary on George Lucas the businessman.


Requiem For A Jedi
Anakin gets hooked on heroin and has to cut off his arm with his lightsaber after it turns all purple. Of course, Anakin can’t kick his habit when they have the technology to re-create limbs.


Star Wars Episode 2: Book Of Shadows
As with the same-named Blair Witch sequel, this film features nothing called the Book of Shadows.


The Tao Of Jabba
ANOTHER fat, slobbish, generally unlikable guy scores with stupid hutt females.


Gungan Ugly
Jar Jar moves to Tatooine to pursue his dream of a music career, and ends up dancing on a bar. Piper Perabo cameos.


Gone In Sixty Parceps
Obi-Wan has to steal 50 spaceships in one day or Watto will cut off Anakin’s lightsaber.


Where The Queen Is
While out on a road trip, Anakin abandons Padme in a Target(screw wal-Mart ). What, you didn’t know they had those in a galaxy far, far away?


The Talented Mr. Skywalker
Anakin marries Padme, and only then does she discover he’s really a homosexual psychopath.


Mace Windu: Male Hindu
Cuz Sam is a sex machine to all the chicks!


Being Anakin Skywalker
People can experience life as a Jedi stud. However, all the “intimate with Padme” time has been taken up by PortmanRules


By Twiggy - Natalie Portman: America’s Queen Message board